Feelings Are Data, Not Instructions

Have you ever felt so mad you thought you might pop? Or so sad it felt like it would never end? Here’s a secret: even the biggest, strongest feelings are like waves in the ocean. They get big, but then they always, always get smaller again. Most feelings only stay at their peak for about 90 seconds.

Think of your feelings as a weather report for your mind. Sometimes it’s sunny and calm. Other times, it’s stormy with thunder and rain. All weather is normal, and no weather lasts forever. The same is true for your feelings.Emotions are just messages from your brain to help you understand what’s happening. They create real feelings in your body, like a knot in your stomach when you're nervous or a warm face when you're embarrassed. These are not 'bad' feelings. They are just information.Fear tells you to be careful.Anger can tell you that a rule has been broken or something is unfair.Sadness tells you that you’ve lost something important.Joy tells you that something is going right.Learning to name your feelings is a superpower. Scientists have found that just saying “I feel frustrated” ca...

Nia, who is 9, felt a tight, hot feeling in her chest. Her little brother had just scribbled all over the drawing she worked on for hours. She wanted to scream and knock over his blocks. But she remembered the idea of feelings as weather. This was a thunderstorm. She took a deep breath and walked to her grandmother in the kitchen. “I feel really angry and really sad,” Nia said, her voice wobbly. “He ruined my art project.” Her grandmother gave her a hug. “You’re right to feel that way. It’s frustrating when something you worked hard on gets broken.” Together, they figured out a way to turn the scribbles into a new, silly monster drawing. Nia realized that saying her feelings out loud made them feel less like a giant storm inside her.