Dealing with Disagreements Without Losing a Friend

Have you ever gotten mad at a friend over a game? Or disagreed about what to play? It feels bad, but it happens to everyone. In fact, close friends disagree all the time. The secret is not to avoid disagreements, but to learn how to handle them without turning them into big fights that can ruin a friendship.

Even the best of friends disagree sometimes. It’s a normal part of any relationship. What matters is how you handle it. Just yelling or walking away can make things worse. A better way is to learn how to talk through it.A great tool is the “I feel” statement. Instead of blaming your friend by saying, “You always cheat,” you can say, “I feel upset when the rules of the game get changed.” The first one sounds like an attack. The second one just explains your feelings, which makes it easier for your friend to listen.Remember these key things:It’s okay to take a break. If you feel too angry to talk, it’s smart to cool down first.Saying sorry doesn’t mean you lost. It means you care more about the friendship than about being right.Working through a disagreement can actually make a friendship st...

Liam was so excited to show his friends the new model airplane he built. As he was explaining how the wings worked, his friend Santiago blurted out, “That’s a stupid toy.” Everyone laughed. Liam’s face got hot with anger. He wanted to yell, “Your face is stupid!” and storm off. But he took a deep breath and walked away for a minute. Later, when things were quiet, he went over to Santiago. “Hey,” Liam said calmly. “When you called my plane stupid in front of everyone, I felt really embarrassed.” Santiago looked at his shoes. “Oh. I was just trying to be funny. I didn’t mean it like that. It’s actually a cool plane.” Liam realized that talking about his feelings worked way better than starting a yelling match.