How to Help a Friend Who's Struggling

What is the most powerful tool to help a friend struggling with substance use? It is not a professional therapist or a doctor. It is you. Research consistently shows that peer intervention is one of the most effective ways to get someone into treatment. Noticing a problem and saying something is not just being a good friend. It is a literal lifesaver.

It is incredibly hard to watch a friend struggle with drugs or alcohol. You might feel confused, scared, or unsure of what to do. The most important thing to remember is that you do not have to be their therapist, but you can be the bridge to getting them real help.First, know the signs. These can include sudden changes in personality or friends, losing interest in hobbies, secrecy, or a drop in school performance. You are not looking for one sign, but a pattern of change that worries you.Understand the difference between a confidence and a dangerous secret. A friend telling you they have a crush is a confidence. A friend telling you they are using pills to cope is a dangerous secret. Your loyalty is to your friend's life, not their secret. Breaking a dangerous secret is an act of profound...

Jamal, 17, found out his friend Tyler was using pills he got online to deal with anxiety about university applications. Tyler made him promise not to tell anyone. "I've got it under control," he said. Jamal felt torn. He had never broken a promise to his best friend. But watching Tyler seem more and more distant and exhausted, he knew this was different. He remembered a dangerous secret is not the same as a confidence. He finally told Tyler, "I care about you too much to watch you hurt yourself. I'm going to talk to the school counselor with you, because you deserve real help." Tyler was furious at first. But months later, after starting therapy, he told Jamal that conversation saved him. Their friendship was stronger because it was built on real trust, not secrets.